You are everything to me and, at this time, I am drawn to you because you are so special to me. I want to tell you that I am dying...I want to die at home and I have asked Geshe-la to come and do the po-wa ceremony when it is time. He has kindly agreed to do so.
I love you so much, dearest Rinpoche. I have your images everywhere, around my bed and on the ceiling with images of the Seventeenth Karmapa and the merit field. Every time I close my eyes, you are with me, everywhere. When I reach the bardo I will have your name on my lips, followed by the refuge prayer, over and over again. And I will have Amitabha's pure land as my destiny.
I remember the first day you arrived here for the special party, over twenty years ago, and I listened to your wonderful teachings. I have remained committed to you and your Dharma center here since that time. I took care of the gompa at the center for ten years, until my health started to fail. I did this with great joy in my heart. My health has not permitted me to offer physical service these past few years, but I have been fortunate enough to be in a position to make some financial offerings to the center as a means of offering service to you. This has also been done with great joy.
I love you so much, precious Guru, I bow down to you. I imagine myself bowing down to you and looking into your eyes. Is there anything that I can do for you, precious Guru, before I die?
I love you, I love you, I love you. I miss you so much. I know we will meet again.
My very dear one,
Thank you very, very much. Skies of thanks for your positive mind, even though you have such a heavy sickness, whereas some other normal, ordinary person would be so scared and worried.
[Ordinary people are] so fearful and worried, with attachment, about separating from the family, possessions, children, wife, husband and even from their own body, having all the worries due to heavy negative karma. They are worried about what’s going to happen, about the next life and because they didn’t practice Dharma, they didn’t purify and didn’t collect merits, they have so many mountains of problems. But in your case it’s very simple. You have a very simple life, taking care of the gompa for ten years, serving and collecting so much unbelievable merit, and making offerings every day. That’s very good.
Now it’s good to think that you are already in Amitabha’s pure land and always to think you are in Amitabha’s pure land. When you wish to go to a pure land, it is advised that wherever you go, even in daily life, you should think you are going to the pure land, to train the mind. Think you are already there and visualize everything very clearly as much as possible, thinking that you are in front of Amitabha Buddha.
Visualize that you are in a lotus in front of Amitabha Buddha and he is giving you teachings. At other times, think Amitabha Buddha is giving teachings, radiating and in the form of red light, in the nature of red light and full of compassion for you. There is lapis lazuli ground, which is blissful, so stepping over it is not hard. It is like a spring flower bed with beautiful flowers, like the size of a room, petals, full of various beautiful flowers and ponds, and rainfalls of flowers and incense, and birds and wind moving in the trees. The birds that are going around are all making the sound of Dharma and even the wind blowing through the trees is making a Dharma sound.
You can think that I am Amitabha Buddha. I’m not advertising to you that I am Amitabha Buddha, but since we have a Dharma connection and since you have very, very strong thoughts about me, you feel so close, and you practice Mahayana teachings and tantra, so you can think about Amitabha Buddha, but not separated from me; you can think one, guiding you. Think that your life is in Amitabha Buddha’s hands, guiding you, completely, totally guiding you. So think that.
I am sending you two photos of Amitabha Buddha. I blessed water on the same night I read your email and it will be sent to you tomorrow. Also there are some other prayers that I will be reciting for you.
Practicing the Five Powers Near the Time of Death is very important to read and to think about at this time.
With much love and prayers...