My very dear Helen,
I am very sorry to hear about your unbearable pain. I think it must be some very heavy karma created in the past, which would have made you be reborn in the hell realms. You would have had to experience many lifetimes of suffering, because karma is expandable, but instead you are experiencing the karma in this life. So, this karma is finishing in this life, so that it is easy for you to go to the pure land when you die, and be quickly free from samsara. Even though it may be unbearable now, it is good to rejoice that it is finishing in this life, making it very easy in your next life.
According to my observations, it would be very bad to take the medicine you asked about. From my observations, this is what I advise you to do:
- Eat chu len pills twice a day for three weeks.
- If the doctor suggests you take painkillers you should take them, so your pain is less.
- Take kurkyen pills five times a day for four weeks.
There is a Tibetan doctor you should see if you can. I will give you his name. I also have a student who is a healer who you should see. I will give you her details.
Then, there is a puja that you need to have done: Che-trul (liberating from harm). You can ask the geshe at your Dharma center to do this for you.
I need to send you a protection to wear called the six-syllable protection.
With much love and prayers,
PS. Think that whatever you are experiencing is for the sake of all sentient beings, on their behalf. There are so many sentient beings who are experiencing some sickness now, and will be experiencing it in the future, as well as all the other sufferings.
Also, a Rinpoche I know recently took the aspect of having cancer. He had all the chemotherapy treatment, but when I saw him recently he said that even though he had all the treatments, the ultimate one, the one that had such a miraculous result, was tong-len practice. This Rinpoche has the aspect of old age, and usually it would be very difficult for him to recover as well as he has. He said the heart practice is tong-len.
Since the “I” that exists is merely imputed, there is nothing to cherish, nothing to cling to. Goodbye to depression, worries, and fears.