My most dear, most kind, most precious one,
One very good thing is that when you put your hands together to prostrate, you can visualize your body huge as a mountain range and think that you are prostrating with many bodies from all ten directions to the lam-rim merit field which has the Thirty-five Buddhas there. Or, [think you are prostrating] just to the Thirty-five Buddhas, or even just to the Buddha. Think that the numberless direct and indirect lineage lamas, the numberless deities of four classes of tantra, the thousand buddhas of this fortunate eon, the bodhisattvas, the sixteen arhats and so forth, the dakas and dakinis and Dharma protectors are all [absorbed] into the Buddha whose essence is the Guru. One is many and many are one.
Then visualize bodies filling all the earth prostrating from all directions, huge bodies like a mountain range. If you have received the initiation of Thousand-arm Chenrezig you can visualize that. If not, just visualize your ordinary body. If you visualize like that, you get the same merit as having done that many prostrations with that many bodies. This is specific advice from Lama Tsongkhapa, and is the way to collect the most extensive merit.
Regarding your question on tantra, any of the lower tantra initiations are OK. That’s very good.
I want to say a billion, trillion, zillion times thanks, now that you have no fear and your mind is developed and you are making your life most beneficial, especially most beneficial for your parents, not only to be free from the oceans of samsaric suffering but also to achieve the peerless happiness of enlightenment. It is so good that you are inspiring others and also inspiring your psychiatrist to learn meditation.
I wish that all the people in the world who have created negative karma like this would be able to change and make their lives better, more meaningful for those people who have been killed.
With much love and prayers...