What comes out best is for you to do White Tara meditation. Also, take mani pills for one month and twenty days. (Take three or four.) This is extremely beneficial for you.
Study the lam-rim and meditate step-by-step, besides direct meditation, by using The Foundation of All Good Qualities, Calling the Guru From Afar, The Three Principal Aspects of the Path or Lama Tsongkhapa’s Lines of Experience.
Live the life as much as possible with bodhicitta, even if there is no realization, but with effortful motivation, as much as possible.
With much love and prayers...